What if: You Found Yourself on Your Own?

alone time

The fourth situation presented to the 2016 Enneagram panel was also presented to the 2015 panel. You can see their responses here.

Situation: You and a friend have arranged to meet in a city you’ve never visited before for several days of vacation. You arrive on time, but your friend’s flight has been delayed until the next day, which leaves you with 24 hours on your own.

Type 1: I would feel free. Like I’m by myself, I can do whatever I want. I would think that I can do whatever I want. I would say, “Great! I’ll see you then when your plane comes in.”

Type 2: I would feel oh, no, she’s missing a whole day of vacation. I would worry slightly whether she was going to make it in at all. I would think that I wouldn’t want to do anything that she and I might want to share together, so I wouldn’t venture out too far on my own. I would enjoy going to dinner and meeting a new friend and socializing in that manner and then getting a good night’s rest and praying that she arrives all right the next day.

Type 3: How would I feel? Yes!! Because I had to compromise so much when we made up the list of what we were going to do, and this is my time. So what do I think? I have 24 hours. I’m not going to even sleep. I’m just going to do stuff and I’m going to meet her at the airport and be completely exhausted and tell her I’ll pick her up.

Type 4: I might feel relieved to have some time on my own to explore, if I could do that on my own. If not, I would be disappointed that we would both miss out on some things. On the other hand, I might be happy to have some time alone to read or watch a movie in the room. I would tell her I’m sorry she had to miss out on her part of her vacation and try to relax and make the best use of my time.

Type 5: While I was looking forward to spending time with my friend, I’m very happy to have some solitary time. I would probably go to a museum or similar venue that my friend didn’t have a particular interest in. And I would definitely research a good place to eat and get some good food and ambiance. And I would probably take something to read while I ate.

Type 6: Feelings are really hard for a 6 to access. It takes a lot of discipline. What do I think? I’m going to spend a lot of time thinking about what that friend’s going to want or need the second they get into town because they just got their whole trip disrupted. They probably didn’t get all of their baggage through, blah blah blah. There’s a whole list of scenarios that I’m going to have to run. And so part of that 24 hours is going to be about making sure that I can welcome my friend in a manner so they get to feel like their vacation didn’t get totally screwed up. Outside of that I would be imagining all of these other things that I could go and do. But I probably wouldn’t do any of them.

Type 7: I’d be excited to have a day by myself to do what I wanted to do, where I wanted to do it, and how I wanted to do it. And I’d welcome her the next day.

Type 8: Yay, a chance to get my bearings without being dragged around doing stuff I don’t want to do! I think I would just tell her, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. See you when you get here.”

Type 9: I’d be disappointed that she is missing a day and I’m missing a day with her. But I think this may be an opportunity. Perhaps I would scout out some things that we might enjoy or go somewhere my friend might not enjoy but I know I would.


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