To the consternation of many 7s, life isn’t always a party. The great thing about parties is that there’s always so much stimulation–music to listen and dance to, people to talk with, food and maybe alcohol to consume, sometimes games to play—that 7s can give themselves over to sensation and lose themselves, which is exactly what they want to do.
7s run as fast as they can from experience to experience in the external world—and always with a grin or a smile in place—in order to avoid being dragged down by their interior world. They are working extremely hard to convince themselves and everyone else that what you see is what you get, that their hail fellow well met persona is who they truly are. But, of course, they know better. What they’re afraid to acknowledge and are so busy trying to fill up is a sense of emptiness. Not emptiness in the Zen sense of peace and spaciousness. Emptiness in the sense of a lack of meaning or substance.
This isn’t to say that 7s are empty inside or that their lives lack meaning. But a meaningful life includes acknowledging painful truths, unpleasant experiences, and uncomfortable emotions, all of which is anathema to 7s. The problem is that by running from these experiences, 7s create a vicious cycle in which they actually exacerbate the problem. It isn’t possible to try enough new things, to consume enough food, alcohol, or drugs, or to accumulate enough material possessions to avoid the void forever. And attempting to outrun it is a very dangerous game.
Party of One, please
7s need to get off the carousel, find a quiet spot, and embrace their inner Sad Sack. They need to stop trying to distract themselves and acknowledge their own sadness, anger, grief, anxiety, and fear. When they do, they may be surprised to discover that, although these feelings are not pleasant, they are not lethal. Everyone experiences them to some degree or another. Shared emotions—whether happy or sad—are something all humans have in common.
When 7s recognize this and own up to the feelings they have been running from, they won’t deflate like a burst balloon. They will expand their options and their ability to empathize with and relate to other people. They will be able to slow down and choose what to focus their attention and their nimble minds on and have a better chance of actually completing what they start.
There’s freedom and strength in facing what we’re most afraid of. And for 7s there’s also the bonus of discovering that what they’ve been frantically searching for all this time is something they already have inside themselves.