A student in a group I facilitated years ago (not the group pictured above) brought in a list of “twisted affirmations” she’d come across. As she read them aloud, we realized how easily they could be categorized by Enneagram type. So that’s what we did. There were many more affirmations than the nine below, but some types got off pretty easy while others seemed to come out far more “twisted.” So to keep it fair (I’m an 8, after all), I’ve chosen what seems to be the most representative twist for each type. I would love to credit the author, but I have no idea who he/she is.
I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep quiet.
To have a successful relationship, I must learn to make it look like I’m giving as much as I’m getting.
I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.
False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
~ ~ ~
Sometimes you just need to be able to laugh at yourself.