Category Archives: Humor

Resolution (Photo credit: The hills are alive)

Sometimes it’s best to be LESS than we can be, especially when it comes to the all-too-entrenched compulsions of our personality.

So here are some resolutions for the new year that run counter to our natural inclinations. If your past resolutions have worked as well as mine, you might be up for giving one or two of these a try.

Type 1:

• Create a schedule for goofing off.
• Make at least one mistake per day.
• Let sleeping dogs lie.

Type 2:

• Pamper myself, whether I feel like it or not.
• Let them figure it out by themselves once in a while.
• Start an argument just for the heck of it.

Type 3:

• Make an anonymous charitable donation (and don’t tell anyone about it).
• Leave the house without combing my hair.
• Start having goal-less Wednesdays.

Type 4:

• Lighten up!
• Try doing one thing a week the way everyone else does it.
• Take something at face value instead of searching for its deeper meaning.

Type 5:

• Set up a meet and greet with the neighbors.
• Next time, don’t read the instructions first.
• At least once a month, throw something out.

Type 6:

• Do whatever they least expect me to do.
• Take a day off in the middle of the week for no reason.
• Lower shields.

Type 7:

• Just say “no.”
• Finish one thing before starting something else.
• Spend some quiet time alone without distractions.

Type 8:

• Leave the office at quitting time—or before.
• Find lower gear and occasionally shift into it.
• Let the right one in.

Type 9:

• Do whatever I feel like doing no matter how much chaos ensues as a result.
• Give up being passive-aggressive for being outright aggressive.
• Create a longer to-do list.

Happy New Year!

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NOTE: As of January 2013, new Nine Paths posts will be published every Monday and Friday instead of every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.