This is the second hypothetical situation posed to the members of last year’s Enneagram panel.
(See the two previous posts for more of their responses.)
SITUATION: You and a friend have arranged to meet in a city you’ve never visited before for several days of vacation. You arrive on time, but your friend’s flight has been delayed until the next day, which leaves you with 24 hours on your own. How do you feel, what do you think, and what would you do and say?
Type 1: I would be perfectly happy and delighted to have a day to myself. I would choose to do things I knew she wouldn’t be interested in doing so she wouldn’t miss out. I wouldn’t be at the airport. I wouldn’t even think about how she was feeling. I would get a really good night’s rest which I would really need after the traveling. I don’t know if I would go out and do something; maybe I would stay in and read a book that came with me on the trip. But I wouldn’t think about her, and I would be perfectly happy to have a day to myself.
Type 2: Maybe I feel a little bit disappointed because I was looking forward to my friend. On the other hand, I personally travel all the time by myself, cross country and so forth. So what do I think? It’s not a big problem. Start thinking about what to do with the 24 hours I have. And also thinking about what’s happening to my friend. Is she sleeping in an airport? You know, how is this going to affect how she is when she gets off the plane tomorrow. So what would I do? I would probably plan to do something that she’s not real interested in, so she wouldn’t have missed anything. I would probably try to meet her at the airport just to grease the wheels so it’s an easy arrival since she’s been through a little stress.
Type 3: I guess I, too, am not very feeling. My reaction is I’m frustrated because my plans have changed. I had a plan, now it’s all changed. So I’m going to be in a little upset at first. And I realize it’s not her fault but that’s just my first reaction. What do I think? OK, so now what can I do to fill my time? Think of something different to do. How can I enjoy this? And what do you end up doing? Well, just go off and have an adventure. That’s how I would see it.
Type 4: I would feel disappointed, but I’d understand that kind of thing happens sometimes. I would see it as an opportunity to explore on my own. I would think about whether it was possible to go and do whatever plans we had for those 24 hours and maybe do something else that my friend might not have been interested in. Or if that didn’t work out, I would just stay in the hotel, have a nice dinner in a restaurant, order room service, maybe, read a book or watch TV. I would not think about her at all.
Type 5: Anyone here who’s my friend, do not take this personally. I’d probably be a little bit happy that I have the space. I have no doubt that there’s something I want to do that this friend does not want to do. So I would go do that. And I would definitely take myself out for a delicious dinner, and it would never occur to me what’s going on with my friend. When she shows up then I know she’ll tell me. I don’t have to think about it until she’s right in front of me.
Type 6: I would feel abandoned. But then I would think, let’s go find some food, find a hotel, buy a map, and then start asking questions.
Type 7: Well since 7s do not feel, I wouldn’t have any feeling for her. I’m sorry my friend would miss out on the special day, but I’d go do whatever I wanted to do. I might see the sights, I might go shopping, I might do whatever—I wouldn’t even worry about what she’s doing. I would not go pick her up at the airport. The next day when she arrived—or maybe it’s a he, you know—I might, if there was something really cool I did that day, I might take my friend with me and say, hey, I found this really cool thing. Do you want to go take a look at it or see it, or maybe not. Or we could just do what we had planned initially. But that would be it. It’s like OK, that’s one of those things that happens. See you tomorrow.
Type 8: My first thought would be absolute elation. I’ve got free time. We would have discussed ahead of time what she wants to do, what I want to do, what we want to do. So I would just decide what my time constraints are and decide what I want to do and then go do it. You know, when I read this, I didn’t think about her at all. I figured she’d be fine.
Type 9: True to my ambivalent nature, I would be both disappointed and elated at the same time. I would probably indulge myself in something I knew wasn’t of interest to my friend during the day, and you know, if they’ve got cable, I would watch TV.
How do you think YOU would respond in this situation? Would you be relieved or disappointed? Would you think about your friend? Would you meet him or her at the airport?