Nine Paths

5s fear that they are inadequate (to a task, to a situation, sometimes even to life in general). To defend against this fear, they retreat into their heads—command central. From this safe vantage point, they intake information and attempt to use their mental faculties to process the stimuli presented by the outside world. 5s are very good at concepts, theories, figuring things out, and mastering a body of knowledge.

This works well enough if you’re trying to do the math, put together a puzzle, understand string theory, or absorb the works of Aristotle. It works less well if you’re trying to learn how to play guitar, repair the plumbing, or maintain any kind of personal relationship.

Since 5s do not like to be intruded upon, however, this may be a pretty good tactic as it does serve to put other people off. But spending all your time inside your own head can get lonely. And what’s the point of knowing so much about something if you don’t put that knowledge to practical use?

ANALYSIS PARALYSIS

One of the pitfalls 5s face is becoming immobilized because they don’t think they ever have enough information to make a decision or to act. This state of affairs both arises from the compulsion and contributes to it. It’s like a self-powered circuit that keeps the thinking process running long after it should have shut down.

When 5s embrace their inner blockhead, they can accept the fact that they aren’t—and don’t need to be—experts about everything. There are plenty of things they don’t know and never will know. But we’re all really in the same boat in that regard.

When 5s realize that thinking is not always the best way to deal with life—and, in fact, it’s sometimes the worst way to deal with it—they may be able to open themselves up to an entire new world of possibilities. Alternate realities, if you will. They may find that the material world has at least as much to offer them as does the cerebral world. They may find that it’s really not the end of the world to be wrong or misinformed or unprepared. These are some of the bases for humor in our society. Levity may not be the first word that comes to mind when thinking of 5s, but it’s a super duper circuit-breaker. And remember:

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

Aphorism

Boat of Boredom (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever met a Type 4 that couldn’t construct an entire mountain range out of a pebble in the road? Me either. For 4s, there’s always a deeper level of meaning, if not actually a hidden meaning, to almost everything that is said or done or observed. Without it, life would be, well, boring. And boredom is the fate worse than death for 4s. Better to be abjectly miserable than be bored.

4s have extremely active imaginations, which is one of the reasons they tend to be very creative. But one of the ways they misuse their imagination is to interpret an event (especially one involving other people), draw a conclusion, and then act as if the imagined scenario is uncontested fact. They usually accomplish this without going to the trouble of checking in with the other parties involved as to their intentions. This can lead to all kinds of misunderstandings, ruptured relationships, hurt feelings, etc., keeping the emotional pot whipped into a frenzied froth. So drama abounds in the lives of 4s, whether real or manufactured, and they of course are at the center of the drama.

One of the driving forces in the compulsion of 4s is their need to believe they are unique and special. They are exempt from the rules; they deserve special treatment; they can’t be expected to behave like everyone else. Yet they crave acknowledgement and intimacy and fear rejection (which they are quick to identify even when it isn’t there). Trying to maintain a position as both an outsider and an intimate sounds exhausting. One of the personal prices 4s pay for being in the grip of their compulsion is depression.

Come as You Are

What happens when 4s recognize that, although they are indeed special in some ways, there are other ways in which they are just like everyone else? One thing they discover is that they don’t have to put so much energy into creating a unique image so instead they can put that energy to more truly creative uses. They may also find out that they can relate to people more easily, that much of the rejection they “experience” is in the eye of the beholder, and that intimacy and drama are not synonymous.

When 4s embrace their Inner Everyman, they can stop trying so hard to project and protect their image. They can come as they are to the party the common folk are throwing. They will always be recognized and appreciated for the unique qualities they contribute, but they won’t have to hang out on the sidelines forever, sitting out all the dances.

To say that 3s want to succeed is like saying that penguins kinda sorta might like to get to their breeding grounds if it’s not too much trouble (see March of the Penguins).  3s are not only determined to succeed in all areas of their lives, they are also driven to avoid both the experience and the appearance of failing. Because 3s are the type most caught up in the issue of image–constantly trying to project an image both internally (to themselves) and externally (to everyone else)–experience and appearance become somewhat undifferentiated.

Wanting to achieve great things, being highly motivated, and working extra hard in order to succeed are all admirable qualities. No one wants to belong to the losers’ club. But too much single-minded devotion to the pursuit of achievement can easily become too much of a good thing.

By constantly measuring the value of their lives according to a pass/fail grading system, 3s risk missing out on so much that is not measurable by that yardstick. By screening out evidence of perceived failure–the thing they are most afraid of admitting–they risk denying their own experience. By attempting to mold themselves into a laudable persona according to other people’s definitions, they risk losing themselves to themselves. By always striving to achieve more and more on the success treadmill, they risk remaining forever unsatisfied and restless.

If 3s learn to embrace their Inner Underachiever and let go of the need to rise to the top in everything they do, they might be able to open themselves up to a totally different kind of success. They might be able to graciously sit one out now and then and let someone else get the win. They might be able to let down their guard, relax, and do something just for fun. They might find out that losing once in a while (or at least not always winning) makes it easier for people to relate to them. They might succeed in finding out who they really are.